My Toastmaster Icebreaker
Have you ever felt like you made a bad decision only to look back later and realise that actually, it wasn’t so bad after all?
Well, that’s been the story of my life.
I turned 40 this month and I spent the night before my birthday writing in my journal. I poured myself a glass of wine, lit a few candles and opened my diary. I wrote the prompt, “What does turning 40 mean to me?”
Now, I’ve struggled over the last couple of years being back home in Singapore. Spending a lot of my time overseas, living out of a backpack without any proper career made me constantly feel like I missed the boat when I compared myself with my friends here. While everyone around me was talking about their expensive condominiums, thousand-dollar watches, promotions, and Bitcoin, I was telling them about trips to hike up mountains, search for orangutans in forests, and swim with sharks in oceans. While everyone was showing me pictures of their babies, I was proudly showing off my two COVID rescue cats.
Gradually, it became harder and harder for me to be a part of those conversations without feeling insecure and wishing I could turn back the clock and start all over again. I started asking myself, what’s wrong with me? Why am I not like them? And in flooded regret about the bad decisions I had made in my life.
My formative years were in Australia. I was shipped off to boarding school after my O level examinations, not because I didn’t do well, I did but because my parents thought it’d be easier for me since I wanted to do an animal related degree in university. While my friends in Singapore were studying to be doctors and lawyers, I was out in the Australian bush pursuing a degree in Animal Science. On top of this, I played contact rugby, and worked as a bartender in the biggest nightclub in Perth. All things that none of my Singapore friends did. I had my own $3000 car, my own room in the university housing and absolute freedom away from my parents. As you can imagine – I was loving life.
Racism, xenophobia, and politics brought me back to Singapore in 2007 after legislation changed for Australia’s immigration laws. I came back home to a $6 per hour neighbourhood bar job, no car, and no freedom since I was living back at home. I was miserable and to make things worse, I couldn’t find a job. Having an Honours degree in Animal Science in 2007 was a joke. And I sure felt like one.
My friends back in Australia were still doing amazing things like surfing, camping, diving, and going on road trips, and I couldn’t afford anything. I was stuck. I was regretting not finding a job immediately after my graduation in Australia before they changed the laws. That was a bad decision.
Writing in my journal on the 15th of February, watching the candle flames flicker, I looked back on my 40 years.
I regretted nothing.
If I had stayed in Australia, I would have never gone and traveled the world. I would probably have had a very comfortable life and followed the usual textbook method of living. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I’ve realized that that is just not me. Leaving Singapore at 16 threw me out of my comfort zone. I learned to be independent and also very strong-willed very early. Being outside of your comfort zone also teaches you to think critically, solve problems, and learn.
Because of that, I’ve been able to backpack around the world by myself, become a dive master, live in the Amazon jungle, and work as crew on a sailboat.
Now, just picture what some of that means. Living in the jungle means that you shower with tarantulas, and your clothes are never completely dry because of the humidity and you wake up to the sound of monkeys and macaws screaming outside your window. I did that for a year.
When I worked on the sailboat, we showered only when it rained so we wouldn’t waste fresh drinking water. I lived on that boat for 3 months. Oh, fun fact – because of that, I now know about 100 different recipes using coconuts, bananas, and fish.
Apart from the adventure, friendships, and crazy photos I got from these experiences, they taught me adaptability, patience, and strength. They taught me that things often don’t go according to plan, and that usually the best plan is no plan. Everything good is a bonus and everything not so good is a lesson.
Being in those places spurred on my love for the environment and my passion of working in education, sustainability, and conservation. No amount of corporate work experience or money earned in Singapore could have taught me any of those things or fueled me like my so-called bad choices.
When I look back at my 40 years, I am excited to see the person my bad decisions have led me to become. I also realise that bad choices are only bad to people who regret them. In hindsight, everything happened for a reason and today, I stand before you as a 40-year-old highly adaptable person who is constantly seeking new experiences, improvement, and fulfilment. I am uniquely me and have no need to compare myself with others. My story is my own - just like everyone else has their own stories to write. I am looking forward to the next 40 years and whatever other bad decisions they may bring.